05.04.26
God -- or taxpayers -- save the king!
It was a bad week.
Wednesday the Supreme Court kneecapped the greatest piece of civil rights legislation in U.S. history, the Voting Rights Act of 1965. Friday, while some of us were trying to celebrate May Day, the federal Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals harshed the vibe by prohibiting the telemedical prescription and mailing of the abortion pill mifepristone to patients, while the FDA reviews the safety of a medication that has been proven safe and effective in hundreds of studies over many years. The antis have been trying to clog the blue-to-red-state pipeline that has undercut the bans and allowed safe self-managed abortions to continue apace since Dobbs.
All this, plus the never-ending war (or wars — the bombings of ships in the Caribbean have quietly resumed) preempted a post I wrote last week about a fresh bit of Trumpian corruption and self-glorification. What’s significant this time is that not only Cabinet members and other freelance crooks but also Congressional Republicans are signing on as accomplices.
Just hours after the assassination attempt at the casually secured Washington Hilton Hotel last Saturday, Trump held a press conference. “We need the ballroom,” he announced. The next morning, Sunday, at around 8:30, he reiterated on Truth Social:
What happened last night is exactly the reason that our great Military, Secret Service, Law Enforcement and, for different reasons, every President for the last 150 years, have been DEMANDING that a large, safe, and secure Ballroom be built ON THE GROUNDS OF THE WHITE HOUSE. This event would never have happened with the Militarily Top Secret Ballroom currently under construction at the White House. It cannot be built fast enough!
Never mind that no military, secret service, law enforcement, or president in the last 150 years has demanded a new White House ballroom. Never mind that Trump has promised repeatedly that it would cost the taxpayer nothing; he and other private donors would finance it. Now the $400 million, 90,000-square-foot gilded monstrosity is a matter of national security.
Aside from his personal party space and bomb shelter, the ballroom is a gift that keeps on giving to Trump. He’s already used it to extort millions from corporate contract-bidders and individual billionaire favor-seekers. Should Congress fund it, he wouldn’t have to chip in himself. He could steal the money from us!
Until now, the GOP Congress has simply looked the other way as the dollars slipped through the White House mail slot. This time, however, our elected officials are actively helping him embezzle funds from the Treasury. By Monday after the shooting, South Carolina Senator and presidential toady Lindsay Graham was readying a bill to fund the ballroom/bunker with taxpayer dollars; House Speaker Mike Johnson was on board, along with “scores of lawmakers,” according to CNN, including Pennsylvania DINO John Fetterman, plus acting AG Todd Blanche and former AG Pam Bondi, who seems desperately to be trying to wheedle her way back into the president’s graces.
Senator Eric Schmitt, Republican of Missouri, is eager to put “a lot of military stuff” underneath the ballroom, including a Secret Service annex. “Private donations can be used” for it, he added, “but I think they should be used for buying china and stuff like that.”
The costs of the project would be “offset by national park user fees and customs fees,” reports the Hill. In other words, funds would be diverted from rangers’ paychecks, trail maintenance, and bathroom cleaning in the parks.
In fact, there are more plans afoot for redesigning Washington in the image of the Great Man, with funding — private or public — that is still up in the air. Trump has shut down the busiest public golf course in DC to make it a “luxury” destination. He plans to redesign West Potomac Park, where the golf course is, to create a “Garden of Heroes,” with 250 life-size statues of people he considers heroic, plus formal gardens, a reflecting pool, amphitheater and cafes. The park is on public land.
But back to the ballroom. Life has gotten more dangerous for public servants, Lindsay Graham reasoned. He’s right about that. A lot of people don’t like Trump, or any politician, for that matter. A lot of people have guns. A lot of people — well, at least right-wing would-be terrorists — are betting they can get away with political violence. Why take chances?
And, while they’re at it, why stop at a ballroom and hardened bunker? How about replacing the wrought-iron fence with a stone wall, with turrets? (The Mexicans will pay for it!) How about a moat with crocodiles in it? (During his first term, Trump proposed stocking the Rio Grande with crocs and snakes to deter migrants). Why not turn the White House into a casino and move the executive branch to the Winter Palace in Palm Beach?
Let’s see if Trump spins the remade park as a critical national security asset too. Somebody shot at him while he was golfing in Florida. If he can’t wait until the weekend to golf, a private, well-guarded course in the city would be just the thing. As for the riverside location, Fort Washington, a bit further south on the river, protected the capital during the Civil War. The new amphitheater could be put to military use during the next civil war, though it’s unclear which side Washington would be on.
Put them all in the federal budget! No expense is too great! The king must be protected from his subjects!